Friday, May 7, 2010

12 Comic Actors’ Stand-Up From Way Back When


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Before they got their big breaks in various movies and TV shows, many of today’s best comedy actors were just regular guys doing the stand-up circuit, trying to get noticed like everyone else.

I’ve searched around the internet to find some early stand-up performances from some of today’s most successful comic actors before they hit it big. Some are funny back then, some definitely needed some time to evolve.

Check the performances out below:

Jerry Seinfeld


Jim Carrey on Johnny Carson


Dave Chappelle


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Thursday, May 6, 2010

Can You Spell That?



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Such Is Our Society



All the plastic surgeries.. All the touchups.. Red spots.. tiny veins.. stupid stuff.. This is what we have come to.

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The Metric System


Click to zoom!

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The Bookshelf

























Click for Clarity..

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Frustrated By Slow Play


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A doctor, A minister, and an engineer were playing golf one day.

They were frustrated by the slow play of the foursome ahead of them. They couldn't seem to hit the ball any where, they drove their cart into a tree, they stumbled around, lost balls and left them laying behind in obvious locations.

They called over a course warden and asked if there was anything he would do to speed up their play. The warden apologized and then explained that this was a group of blind firefighters. They all lost their sight putting out a fire in the clubhouse the year before. Since then the golf course let them play whenever they wanted and didn't hastle them.

The three friends thought about it and expressed appreciation for the golf courses compassion.

The doctor said, "I have a couple friends that are world-class eye surgeons. I will ask them if there is anything they could do to help."

The preacher said, "I will have my whole congregation pray that God will send a miracle to help those poor firefighters."

The engineer was quiet for a few minutes and then asked "Why can't they just play at night?"

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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

10 Unwritten Baseball Rules You May Not Know


Last month, when A's pitcher Dallas Braden called out Alex Rodriguez for cutting across the Oakland Coliseum mound, the country was informed of a small slice of baseball's Code that had lain mostly dormant in recent memory.

It was only one of a litany of unwritten rules that covers major leaguers' actions, designed essentially to preserve a baseline level of respect between competitors. They constitute the moral fabric of the game.

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The best known of these rules tells players not to steal a base when their team holds a big lead in the late innings of a game. Others include barring overt displays of exuberance in all but the most extreme circumstances; the hitter who watches his own home runs is the most egregious of violators in this category.

Many fans have heard of these rules (Alex Rodriguez himself was unaware of one). Some sections of the Code, however, fly under the radar (even for baseball insiders, to judge by the number of people within the game who had never heard the rule about restraint from crossing the pitcher's mound).
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So, without further delay, here are 10 of baseball's more obscure unwritten rules:

1. Don't swing at the first pitch after back-to-back home runs
This is a matter of courtesy, respect for a pitcher who is clearly struggling, offering just a sliver of daylight with which to regain his senses. When Yankees rookie Chase Wright gave up back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers against Boston in 2007, the guys who hit numbers three and four — Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek — each watched a pitch before taking a cut.

"Let him know, okay, I'm not swinging," said Hal McRae. "I know you're out there trying to do a job, and I have to do a job — but you've just given up back-to-back home runs. So I take the first pitch."

2. Don't work the count when your team is up or down by a lot
This is true for both pitchers and hitters. Nobody wants to see the fifth guy on a bullpen's depth chart nibbling on the corners in the late innings of a blowout. Similarly, hitters are expected to swing at anything close. It's an effort to quickly and efficiently end a lopsided contest.

3. When hit by a pitch, don't rub the mark
This one is all about intimidation or lack thereof. It's a hitter's way of telling the pitcher that his best shot — intentional or otherwise —didn't hurt. Pete Rose made a point of sprinting to first base after being hit, to ensure that he stripped all satisfaction from the pitcher.

"It's a macho thing, like a fighter who gets clocked in the mouth and shakes his head like it didn't hurt him," said Rich Donnelly. "But believe me, it hurts."

Lou Brock was the only hitter Sandy Koufax ever threw at intentionally, and despite the fact that his shoulder was fractured by the pitch, forcing him from the game, never once did he rub the spot. The Washington Post once reported that Don Baylor "was hit by 267 pitches yet never rubbed, even once. Of course, several of the balls had to be hospitalized."

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Tuesday, May 4, 2010

10 Finkers


Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten finkers.

He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, “Okie dokie, et’s have da finkers and I’ll see vhat I can do.”

Ole said, “I haven’t got da finkers.”

“Vhat do you mean, you hafen’t got da finkers?” he said. “Lordy - it’s 2010 and Ive’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible surgery techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn’t you brink da finkers?”

Ole says………”How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?”

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Play With The Hamster



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