Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Be Back In A Few Days

...for obvious reasons.


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Eulogy For My Father

Obviously I have been forced to deal with a sudden death in my family. My dad has been sick for a long time. In and out of the hospital for years now. He has always bounced back strong! The roller-coaster kept us so posistive for so many years. I want a new car. A new motorcycle. Walker? Cane? Hoverround?

It doesn't matter.

I want to go out. But why can't I do what I want to do?? I just wanna go!

A lotta wounds. Skin-tears.. WAIT! OK ok..

Stitch me up.. Do what you gotta do.

Did you watch the tourney today? Yeah. These guys...

I know.

Going out on his hoverround, he was lost for an hour or so. Safely found in my driveway, and happily talking on the phone, for some reason he was carefree.

Too many times he was the opposite of carefree. On the course, he was center-of-the-fairway all the time. He practiced nothing but the most solid of relationships with her. I'm ok but can you bring it to me?

Of course.

I will do everything I have to do for you my love. You are my light, my spirit, and my everything.

No, don't take me to the ER. It'll be fine. Wounds heal. Sometimes I am a stubborn man. You're fine for now.

You gotta go. They're simply not healing.

These couple of stitches will do the trick. What's this wound from? And what happened here?

I'm in deep, I guess. What's going on? I want to go home!

Please come rescue me - I don't wanna be here. We're here for you. You need to eat!!

Sweet! It's Ray! I'm so... Dad, are you ok? Hey there it's Steph! You look so good, I thought you were trying to tell us something. Here's dinner.

Yeah I'm hungry. This bed is pissing me off! So uncomfortable.. But hey - Can you turn me?

This is good. Can I have some more pudding? Domino misses you. Honey talk to me. His eyes are dialated. Don't you think? He's fine.

I think he's telling all of us that he feels fine. He may, but he may be trying to tell us something else.

We didn't make it in time, as close as we were.

This time there were just too many holes in the dam when pneumonia set in for about the 12th time in his life. You can plug them, and plug them, and finally the leak is too much stronger than the plugs.

Too weak to swallow, too weak to talk, too weak to clear his lungs, and too weak to even eat, he decided his time had come. Smiling at every possible occasion which seemed fresh to him, my father fought the fight that I've never ever witnessed. And yeah - he had done this for years! Wondering why his body had not failed him on many occasions, he persevered so much that a half dozen doctors were dumbfounded.

Can we go play tomorrow? I heard him say this to me more times than I really gave him credit for. Why haven't I died? I can't enjoy anything anymore. I just don't understand why I haven't died. What's going on?

Please get me out of here.

Your mom is losing it, I think. She tells me one thing and then another. I remind her of something, and then she forgets. Mom is fine, Dad. You need to suck it up, be strong, and show her how much she means to you. Dad?

I have a tee time for Thursday.. Ray and I and whoever else you want will be there. "You'll never do better until you slow your swing down," he said that day. That day was the first time in my life I broke 80. Not 3 months later he witnessed my 72 at Starcke.

My father and I shared so many great times in the garage. Frustrated, I'd always tell him "I got it".. but he always got it right. But he was usually wrong. Knowing he was right, my calculations always ended up the same as his. Dad's workshop was hallowed ground in my mind. The time he and I spent together in the garage is priceless.

I love you, you know? "Yeah". We'll be back tomorrow...

My father chose his path. I'm going out how I wanna go out. Stop looking at me. We are all here for you, you have got to eat and become stronger so you can come home.

I'm sorry honey. I don't mean to be this way to you. My body... well you know.

I wish things had been different during my father's last days, but I am confident he did it his way.

For you Dad

It goes without saying. It touches without meaning to. Dad, I love you and miss you so much - I am already looking forward to the day I can see you again.

Monday, September 13, 2010

I'm Gonna Miss You Terribly, Dad

In Loving Memory

Les Koontz

April 13, 1937 - September 12, 2010