The Worm

Author: Scott Hilburn / Via

Soggy Butts

Via

Unintentional Win

Via / Source

The Golfer That You Are

He left home about 8:30 a.m. to play golf with his friends. On the way out the door his wife asked him, "what time will you be home?"

"Probably about 1:30, I'll have lunch at the club," he replied.

1:30 came and went, 3:00 passed... 6:15... still not home. Finally at about
7:00pm he rolls in the driveway, comes in the door, hands his wife a pizza, and begins the apologetic story:

"Well, we finished our round about 11:30, had lunch, and I started home. Then alongside the road I saw this attractive girl with a flat tire on her car. I stopped to help, got the tire changed, and looked around for a place to wash my hands. She offered money, but I refused, so she suggested that I at least allow her to buy me a beer.

She said, 'there's a bar just up the road and they have a restroom. You can clean up a bit there.'

I agreed to stop, and so we had a beer. Then we had another beer... then a couple more, and I soon realized that this girl was not only pretty, but she was also very friendly, and a good companion to spend time with. Before I knew it, we were in the motel next door having sex. And that is why I am so late getting home."

His wife looked him right in the eye and said, "Don't BS me, you bastard! You played 36 holes, didn't you?"

Thanks Rick! (Image Source)

Fine Print

Sometimes it's a must-read!


Source

Clever Sign Writing

Via - (NSFW)

Posts

I apologize for my recent lack of posts. I'm doing final preparations for my Bar Exam next Tuesday, as the rest of this week might be kinda busy. I'll be back at it later this evening during the Spurs game, however!

Image Source

An Amazing Balcony in Switzerland

CTE!!                                                                                                               Via

More incredibly awesome Switzerland pictures.. (Source)

Funny Drinking Rules

Via

Hey Bartender

CTE..

Via

How About A Giant Kit Kat

Via - (NSFW)

Complimentary Nuts

Via

Where Astronauts Hang Out

Via

3 Brudders

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness, and sits in the corner of the room drinking a sip out of each pint in turn.

When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more. The barman says, "You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it - your pint would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

Patrick replies, "Well now, I have two brodders, one is in America 'n' de udder in Australia 'n' here I am in

Image Source

Dublin. When we all left home, we promised dat we'd drink dis way to remember de days we all drank togedder."

The barman admits that this is a nice custom, and says no more.

Patrick becomes a regular customer, and always drinks the same way - ordering three pints, and drinking a sip out of each in turn until they are finished.

One day he comes in and orders just two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and are stunned in silence.

When he goes back to the bar for the second round, the barman says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

Patrick looks confused for a moment, then the penny drops. He starts to laugh and says, "Oh no, Bejesus, everyone is fine!

'Tis me - I've quit drinking!"

Thanks Ryan!

Must Be The Type Of Place I Wouldn't Want To Visit

Via

This would be like a felony, or something..

Breaksoap

Though everybody knows clearly that hand pump is more hygienic and easier to use than hand soap, they seldom realize there’re lots of chemicals contained in the soap pump which may hurt your skin. Providing a clever solution to that, Dave Hakkens has created the Breaksoap, a new kind of soap that is divided into small pieces for personal use. Do you need it?

Continue to the site for a few more pics.

Via

Drunk Australian Leaves Bar - Tries To Ride Crocodile

Image Source

SYDNEY (AFP) – An Australian man was lucky to be alive after drunkenly scaling the fence of a crocodile enclosure and trying to take a five-metre (16-foot) beast named "Fatso" for a ride, police said Tuesday.

The 36-year-old jumped the wildlife compound's fence after being ejected from a pub in the northwestern city of Broome late Monday night, and tried to sit on the back of the massive saltwater reptile.

"He first climbed into a compound containing two female crocodiles, before approaching a five-meter long male called Fatso," a police spokeswoman told AFP.

"The man was bitten on his right leg as he tried to sit on its back. He managed to escape and make his way back to the pub, where an ambulance was called."

Pub manager Mark Phillips said staff told him that the man reappeared at about 11pm with bits of bark hanging off him and flesh gouged out of his limbs.

"They said he had chunks out of legs and things like that," Phillips told thewest.com.au website.

He underwent surgery for severe lacerations, and park owner Malcolm Douglas said the man was lucky to have survived his encounter with the 800-kilogram (1,800-pound) croc.

"The crocodile didn't kill that guy because it was jammed in the corner," Douglas told thewest.

Douglas said Fatso, one of the largest reptiles in the park, could crush a man with a single bite.

An average of two people are killed each year in Australia by aggressive saltwater crocodiles, which can grow up to seven meters (23 feet) long and weigh more than a ton.
Via

Neighborhood Biker Bar

Thanks Dad!