Bad Combination

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Neither does blogging and math, but that's a different post entirely. Blogging & alcohol? Well, that's OK.. I think.

Trust

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Decisions Decisions

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Only in Wisconsin

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Now This Is What A Waterproof Driveway Looks Like!

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The Perfect Drive

Two men were playing golf one afternoon. They were about to wrap up a fun round, and were about to tee off at the par-5 18th hole.

The first man hit his drive straight down the fairway without hesitation. The second man had more trouble with his effort. He kept checking his alignment, backing off, rechecking, and backing off.

After 5 minutes off this, his friend asked what the problem was..

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The man on the tee said that his wife was watching from the observation deck just behind the 18th green, and that he wanted to hit the perfect shot.

The man watching said, "You're wasting your time buddy, there is no way you can possibly hit her from here."

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Scared Old Man Seeking Help

A gentleman goes into his doctor's office and is finally allowed to see the doctor. The guy says, "Doc, I'm having trouble with.. well, you know.."

The doctor thoroughly examines him and says, "You'll need to have some work done to bring back your sex drive. I'll get back to you in a few days. Let's run some tests."


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The distraught man waits and waits for his test results, and after 2 weeks finally received the call he's been waiting for: Doc Says, "I can do it in a series of operations that will take 30 days and cost $12,000, or I can do it in one operation right away that would cost $30,000. Why don't you go home and discuss it with your wife?"

So the gentleman goes home and has "the talk" with his wife.

The next day the guy comes back into the doctor's office.

The doctor says, "What did you decide?"

He says without any reluctance whatsoever, "We're going to re-do the kitchen!!"

WooHoo!!!!1

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Just Turn Left

Could be a re-post, but I don't care - it's hilarious!


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Gender Biased?

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...you bet!

Double Shot

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"Uhm yeah I'll take one AK-47, two 9-lugers, 120 rounds for each, a fifth of Jack, two bottles of Jager, and a double shot glass."

"Would you like fries with that?"

Oops - Was That Drive?

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The Bud Light Clothing Drive 2010

I hope you remember the "Swear Jar" Bud Light commercial..



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America's 75 Worst Commutes

They are the highways to hell in the country’s most gridlocked cities. The Daily Beast crunches the numbers to determine your ultimate morning nightmares. How did your commute rank?

Bumper-to-bumper traffic is America’s collective nightmare, and like the movie Groundhog Day it repeats on a daily basis.

Congestion consumes billions of gallons of fuel, wastes hundreds of billions of dollars in productivity and causes billions of stress headaches. Yet over 100 million automobile commuters each day feel like they have little option. “We put so much of our national wealth and our identity into the whole motoring thing,” says James Howard Kunstler, author of Geography of Nowhere, “that we can’t imagine doing something different.”

Anthony Downs, author of Stuck in Traffic has identified four reasons for America’s congestion problem, also applicable to most European and Asian economies: first, most of us work during the same hours of the day; second, the country’s economic success has allowed households to buy multiple cars; third, there are more people now than when most roadways were conceived; fourth, more cars means more accidents which means more delays.

In other words, this problem isn’t going anywhere. So the Daily Beast set out to figure out the worst of the worst. The true Highways to Hell. It was a two-step process, done with data from traffic-tracking firm INRIX, which culls information nationwide from more than 1.5 million GPS units, mostly in freight trucks.

Our first step was ranking the metropolitan areas with the worst rush-hour congestion. The order is based on the peak hour Travel Time Index (TTI) for the metropolitan area each highway is in. TTI is a measure of how much longer it takes to complete a road journey during peak congestion hours compared to free-flow hours. (Peak hours are defined as 6 a.m. to 10a.m., and 3 p.m. to 7 p.m.) Speeds during non-peak hours are used by INRIX to establish this free-flow baseline.

After determining the 75 worst metro areas, we then found the worst highway in each, defined as the most hours of bottleneck congestion, as reported by INRIX. The rankings then provide a still deeper look—at the most congested bottleneck segment for the worst highway in each area.

#32, I-15, Las Vegas
Weekly hours of bottleneck congestion: 119
Worst bottleneck: Southbound, Lake Mead Blvd/Exit 45
Length of worst bottleneck: 1.64 mi
Weekly hours of congestion on worst bottleneck: 21
Speed of worst bottleneck when congested: 25 mph

Commuter Buzz: "You have express lanes ending there, traffic merging in, traffic trying to get off and the Spaghetti Bowl backing up," says Trooper Alan Davidson about the I-15/Sahara Avenue intersection. "Some people aren't paying attention and have to take evasive action to slow down or make a quick lane change so they don't rear-end somebody."

#22, I-75, Atlanta
Weekly hours of bottleneck congestion: 250
Worst bottleneck: Southbound, US 41/Northside Dr/Exit 252
Length of worst bottleneck: .8 mi
Weekly hours of congestion on worst bottleneck: 23
Speed of worst bottleneck when congested: 23 mph

Commuter Buzz: “I wish they would make a ‘Grand Theft Auto: Atlanta’ so I could blow up the video game version of Interstate 75. It would be good therapy,” a commenter wrote on the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s online rant forum The Vent last November.

#12, Loop 610, surrounds Houston
Weekly hours of bottleneck congestion: 189
Worst bottleneck: Southbound, Farm-to-Market Rd 1093/Westheimer Rd/Exit 8
Length of worst bottleneck: .16 mi
Weekly hours of congestion on worst bottleneck: 34
Speed of worst bottleneck when congested: 21.9 mph

#9, Kennedy Expressway, Chicago
Weekly hours of bottleneck congestion: 712
Worst bottleneck: Westbound, I 90/I 94/Edens Expressway
Length of worst bottleneck: .2 mi
Weekly hours of congestion on worst bottleneck: 64
Speed of worst bottleneck when congested: 17.2 mph

The expert opinion: “There’s no such thing as rush hour. It’s rush period, rush day,” says Roz Varon, traffic anchor for ABC 7 News This Morning. “With the Kennedy, that thing will stay congested until 10 or 11 a.m. and start backing up again at 1 p.m.”

#4, I-35, Austin
Weekly hours of bottleneck congestion: 460
Worst bottleneck: Northbound, Riverside Dr
Length of worst bottleneck: .92 mi
Weekly hours of congestion on worst bottleneck: 47
Speed of worst bottleneck when congested: 16.2 mph

The expert opinion: “It’s the most traveled stretch of roadway of Austin and in the state,” says Joe Taylor, traffic reporter for News 8 Austin. “It’s quirky. It was designed for a small town, and we’ve grown into a very large city.”

See the entire list here..