Via
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Universal Food Chopper
I think my parents still have one of these. They use it to make ham salad for sandwiches - but they use a hunk of bologna. I don't like it, but I'm gonna have to make sure it gets passed down the right direction..
Via
Golfer
Source
A murder has been committed.
Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man, answers.
He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...maybe six...
put me down for a five."
Via
Friday, June 25, 2010
Steven Wright Quotes
Source• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
• Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
• I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
• Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
• When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
• Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
Those are some of the ones from this page.
More places to find hilarious Steven Wright quotes:
Here, here, here, here (pop-ups), here, here, here, here, here, and here.
WWII Nazi Propaganda Posters
"Into Dust with All Enemies of Greater Germany!"
"The Jew: The inciter of war, the prolonger of war."
More here.. (Note: So that you don't get confused, their translations are on top of the posters.)
Via
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
