Bill Cosby - Dentists

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Classic Steven Wright

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Introducing Jerry Seinfeld Dot Com

"When I was ten years old, I started watching stand up comedians on TV. I fell in love with them and I'm just as fascinated with stand up comedy today. When I started doing TV, I saved every appearance on every show I did.

I thought it might be fun to go through all of it and pick out three bits each day that still amuse me for some reason or another. I've also included stuff I'm doing now, and I'll be adding new stuff as I go.

Somewhere out there are ten year olds just waiting to get hooked on this strange pursuit. This is for them. I'm just hoping somehow it will keep this silliness going."

--JS

Yep, that's right! Jerry Seinfeld has launched his own website, which will contain a ton of all the material he's ever done. Not only will we now get to go see some of his great stuff from when he primarily did stand-up, but he's making it all the more easy for us - this is his personal library! As a special note, it remains to be seen whether or not we'll see any "Seinfeld" references at Jerry Seinfeld Dot Com, but for now he says, "that stuff is being reserved for another special Web project."

Quoting a recent N.Y. Times article: "I really thought, ‘Where’s my stuff going to be when I’m dead?’ Is it just gone for all time? Who could sift through it? I thought, I should filter this out and be the judge of what I thought was good."

"...[E]ach day the Web page will offer only three of these videos, chosen by Mr. Seinfeld, a strategy that reflects his theories about online content as well as his concerns about what he called 'portion control.' "

"I don’t want everything, Burger King now has a burger where you decide how many patties. How disgusting is that? That’s the problem right there. That’s the cultural moment that I am repudiating here."

My favorite for today was "The chicks and the checks" - from Letterman, 1989.

If you haven't already found the link, click here to go to his brand new website.

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Classic: "Who's On First?"

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Brand New Louis CK

Here's your bad language warning!



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Then a few days later he appeared at his premier of his new F/X show "Louie".

It is a good show. (Sidenote: Louis’s last show, "Lucky Louie", was not a good show, as much as it pains me to say it. I watched the whole thing, and I told people it had “promise,” which is to say, I TRIED.) Two episodes aired back-to-back last night, but we will confine our discussion to the pilot/premiere because some of us, it could be any of us, really, only watched the first episode, and are saving the second episode for a DVR treat, and cannot be fired because we quit. So: the bus sketch was charming enough, and I laughed out loud at “you red-headed nobody piece of shit” (context is useful, but so watch the show!), and the date with Chelsea Peretti had some really great moments, especially the bathroom sequence and the old helicopter gag. This show has a lot of promise, and I really mean it this time!

But here is the thing: the best part of the show was Louis’s stand-up, which is what happens when you are The Best Stand-Up Comedian in America. These interstitial “tone pieces,” meant to set the stage for the sketches, were by far the funniest and most honest part of the whole thing. And watching these jokes (for the second time*) kind of made you, or at least made me, wish that the show was just a half hour of Louis telling jokes on stage. No offense to the sketches, which were some of the funnier, best written, and most interesting things I have seen on TV in awhile, but in side-by-side comparison, they lose every time. And so, please enjoy all of the stand-up bits from last night’s premiere episode of Louie:


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I don't know I kinda liked "Lucky Louie". His co-star was Pamela Adlon, who is also the voice of Bobby Hill on King of the Hill, and who alsu appeared on many episodes of Californication with David Duchovny. I was actually upset when it was discontinued. I think Louis CK is one of the best around right now.

Robin Williams - I Love Liberty

Thanks Dad!

Steven Wright Quotes

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• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

• OK, so what's the speed of dark?

• How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

something.

• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

• Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

• I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

• Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

• Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

• When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

• Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

• The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.


Those are some of the ones from this page.

More places to find hilarious Steven Wright quotes:
Here, here, here, here (pop-ups), here, here, here, here, here, and here.

12 Comic Actors’ Stand-Up From Way Back When

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Before they got their big breaks in various movies and TV shows, many of today’s best comedy actors were just regular guys doing the stand-up circuit, trying to get noticed like everyone else.

I’ve searched around the internet to find some early stand-up performances from some of today’s most successful comic actors before they hit it big. Some are funny back then, some definitely needed some time to evolve.

Check the performances out below:

Jerry Seinfeld


Jim Carrey on Johnny Carson


Dave Chappelle


Continue to the rest of the article..

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Louis CK on Rough Sex

* * * Most definitely NSFW.. Rated-R.. 18+ * * *



Louis CK is certainly one of the funniest comedians of today. Here is his website, and here are some more hilarious YouTube clips.

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