7 People Who Messed With Texas

- A Holy Taco article -



Of all the places not to mess with, Texas, we’re told, is at the top of the list. But in reality, this near universal recognition of Texas as a state above our meddling is misplaced. Turns out the “Don’t Mess with Texas” slogan is nothing more than a marketing ploy cooked up for the Texas Department of Transportation to discourage rednecks from littering the roads with their empty beer cans (no, really).

So don’t let the bumper stickers, fridge magnets, and trashy tattoos fool you. Texas is just as worthy of a good razzing as Indiana, Oklahoma, and all the crappy states in our fair land. That’s not to say that Texas won’t mess with you in return, but you shouldn’t be unduly worried about the Lone Star State.

Still don’t believe me? Here are seven examples of people who have messed with Texas to varying degrees of success.

7. Bonnie and Clyde
Both Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow hailed from the Loan Star State. But this infamous crime couple didn’t seem to feel much kinship with their fellow Texans, especially members of Texas’ law enforcement. Most of their early robberies and murders took place in the state, as did the infamous Eastham prison break which Barrow orchestrated in 1934. Not long after the brazen raid in which many lawmen were killed, Texas grew tired of being messed with and formed a posse led by Texas Ranger Frank Hamer (Walker, Texas Ranger had not yet been born). Hamer and his crew tracked the pair to Louisiana, and turned them into human pencils.

6. Robin Ventura
With close to 6000 strikeouts and seven no-hitters, it’s easy to see why Nolan Ryan, a native Texan, is considered a hero to baseball fans in his home state. So in 1993, when Chicago White Sox third baseman Robin Ventura charged Ryan after being hit with a pitch, it was a safe assumption that he wasn’t making any friends with the local populous. Despite Ventura being twenty years his junior, the 46-year-old Ryan easily manhandled his attacker, pummeling him until other players pulled them apart.

Texas fans never forgave Ventura for the incident, and he was booed whenever he played in the state for the remainder of his career.

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"The idea that behavior or personality traits can influence health is one that's been around for a long time. We're just now getting a handle on to what extent they do," said Stephen Boyle of Duke University Medical Center in North Carolina.

From those with a chill demeanor to the completely frazzled types, mental factors are ultimately tied to physical health. And while a highly neurotic person might deteriorate more quickly than others, not every character trait will kill you. Some might even boost lifetimes.

Lack of Self-control

Late for appointments? Can't keep your desk organized? No self-control? These seemingly benign qualities could take a toll on your health.

A review of more than 20 studies and nearly 9,000 participants revealed people who are conscientious -- organized and self-disciplined, as opposed to impulsive -- live two to four years longer than others. Study researcher Howard S. Friedman of the University of California, Riverside, suspects the boost in lifetime can be attributed partly to the fact that highly conscientious individuals are less likely to smoke or drink to excess, and live more stable and less stressful lives. The study is detailed in a 2008 issue of the journal Health Psychology.

Anxiety

The jitters can put a strain on your noggin, research suggests. Compared with the highly frazzled, individuals with a mellow demeanor who are outgoing may be less likely to develop dementia, which can be caused by Alzheimer's disease and other illnesses. The claim is based on a study that followed more than 500 elderly individuals for five years. Among the outgoing extroverts, dementia risk was 50 percent lower for participants who were calm compared with those who were prone to distress.

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