Smoking in Outside Air

Mine

These laws that they make insinuate that there is this gigantic 10-foot cloud surrounding a smoker... And in this cloud there is no oxygen.. It is impossible to breathe. Oh my God! Everyone within 100 yards will be infected with -- smoke. They will die immediately! If we move, the CLOUD moves with us, and it is an incredible immediately dangerous CLOUD to anyone who happens to be in the area.. like an amazing amount of distance that may include the entire property.

The truth is that many people smoke. And many people can smoke and not offend anyone at all. And you know what? I'm OUTSIDE! I'm in open air! Ordinance or no ordinance, there is nothing logical that says "a smoker may not smoke outside in open air - away from other people."

Screw your ordinance!

Illiterate Cows Are Illiterate

Via - (NSFW)

The Pigs' Life

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Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm All Messed Up, But I'm Back!

Well we're home from a great vacation, which was brought to an end with a bang!

My brother-in-law and I had a bunch of beer and vodka on what amounted to our last night there. I was on my way out the back door with a couple of vodka drinks at 5am, slipped on the welcome mat on the way out, sprained my ankle and hit the ground 4 feet below on my back right side. (Here's the same steps in a picture from last year.) B-I-L says I hit no other steps on my way down - just the ground.

Anyway the image above is from my wife's camera a few minutes after the fall. She was taking pictures of us through windows and laughing, believe it or not (I can). You can see the two little red plastic cups lying there too.

I went right to bed, and woke up a few hours later in major pain, so I went to the ER. Long story short, I've since flown home (as is always the case - had to walk from one side of Dulles airport to the other for our connecting flight.. on a bad ankle.. not fun), been to another ER, and to a urologist - In addition to the bad ankle sprain, I also have a burst adrenal gland, and many bruised ribs.

So I'm on a hydrocodone diet for a few days, and I will be resuming posts shortly. Today is the first day where my pain level has dropped to something that's at least manageable. And yeah it's my insides, not my ankle. I'm shocked that 15 x-rays found no broken ribs.

Here's my ankle a few minutes ago (almost 60 hours after the fall):

Sol Wallerstein's 61

Sol Wallerstein was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang... It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in an accident, and was in critical condition in ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was, and that he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up, he realized he'd be leaving what was shaping up to be his best-ever round of golf. So he decided to get in a couple more holes before heading to the hospital.

Well, he ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round, and shooting a personal best 61 - shattering the course record by five strokes, and beating his previous best round by more than 10. He was jubilant...

Then he remembered about his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition. The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you! I hope you're proud of yourself!"

"While you were out for the past four hours enjoying yourself at the country club, your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last! For the rest of her life, she will require round-the-clock care and you will be her care giver! She will need IVs; you will have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours; she will have to be spoon fed 3 times a day and don't forget the hygiene care."

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed…

Then the doctor snickered and said, "I'm just screwing with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

Thanks Jeff!

Those Damn Cats

Via