The 9 People You'll See At Every Golf Course

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The Misogynist
Description: He doesn’t so much enjoy golf as he enjoys having an environment where it’s acceptable to complain about women and crudely talk about sex. Leave a putt short or hit a weak drive? “Come on, Sally! You hit that like a pu***! Nice skirt! Does your husband play?” Hit a putt past the hole or crush a drive? “Whoa! Someone’s wife isn’t giving him enough of the ********! Look at all that extra aggression!” Whatever The Misogynist shoots in a round, put him down for double that number on uses of the terms “old lady” and “ole’ ball and chain.”

Fun Fact: The Misogynist has been banned from 12 courses for trying to feel up the beverage cart girl.

The Rules Official
Description: He has read the USGA rules book two dozen times and has a copy of it in his golf bag that he will display at a moment’s notice. You better not be trying to move your ball out of that mud patch in the middle of the fairway because, according to Rule 13-b(1.4), that particular mud patch, due to its lack of distinguishing marks, does not fit the criteria for “ground under repair.” I mean, sure, if you want to play that way, fine. But if this was the US Open you’d be getting a significant penalty.

Fun Fact: The Rules Official received a severe beating in 8th grade after reminding his math teacher that she had forgotten to assign homework.

The Mulligan Man
Description: He is the complete opposite of The Rules Official. To him, it’s always winter rules … wherever his ball lands, he just finds the nearest and best lie without any sort of obstruction between him and the hole. And then he props it up on a cluster of grass like a tee. Golf’s not so hard! Whoops! Hit one out of bounds again? Just like on the last four holes? Nope! Not really! He didn’t use his 5th hole mulligan yet! And that’s a gimme from 10-feet, right? Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. He’s going to count the putt whether it goes in or not. Put him down for yet another par!

Fun Fact: Despite losing 14 balls during the round, Mulligan Man still managed to shoot 78. Amazing!

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