Via
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Universal Food Chopper
I think my parents still have one of these. They use it to make ham salad for sandwiches - but they use a hunk of bologna. I don't like it, but I'm gonna have to make sure it gets passed down the right direction..
Via
Golfer
Source
A murder has been committed.
Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man, answers.
He stifles a sob, drops the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...maybe six...
put me down for a five."
Via
Friday, June 25, 2010
Steven Wright Quotes
Source• I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
• Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
• Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
• Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
• I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
• Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
• When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
• Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
• Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
• The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
• Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
Those are some of the ones from this page.
More places to find hilarious Steven Wright quotes:
Here, here, here, here (pop-ups), here, here, here, here, here, and here.
WWII Nazi Propaganda Posters
"Into Dust with All Enemies of Greater Germany!"
"The Jew: The inciter of war, the prolonger of war."
More here.. (Note: So that you don't get confused, their translations are on top of the posters.)
Via
Beer Racism
That's racist!
In other news the Dos Equis have got the Red Stripe hostage with a family of Sapporo as ransom.
Via
Don't Honk At Dogs
I had to post it - I've watched it a half-dozen times now, and realize it's epic. No way on earth anyone could've planned on this happening.
That's all..
Via - and everywhere else
Dude, It's A Shark!
Wait for it!
(Warning: There might be a handful of curse words!)
What a dumb-ass! This ain't a largemouth bass with a hook stuck in its mouth. And even after a full 30 seconds of FAIL, demand the wire cutters! Also demand that someone else cut it out...
Via
(Warning: There might be a handful of curse words!)
What a dumb-ass! This ain't a largemouth bass with a hook stuck in its mouth. And even after a full 30 seconds of FAIL, demand the wire cutters! Also demand that someone else cut it out...
Via
USA - England
How is it that we won our group? Seems to me all the stats are exactly equal. Tiebreaker would be head-to-head vs. England, but we played England to a draw. Goal differential is even the same. Going in, wasn't England ranked higher in the FIFA World Rankings?
Just saying.. and just wondering..
If you have the answer, please let me know!
Brand New Seinfeld
Lady Gaga aparently went to two consecutive baseball games recently. One Yankees, one Mets. You probably saw the news report that she was scantily clad at both, and was even recorded giving the camera "double middle fingers" at one.
And soon after, Jerry Seinfeld was asked about it.
This is what transpired.
~~Commercial~~
Source
But only then did I realize that this was already happening. "Seinfeld reunites with Hernandez on air tonight". So yeah, check that out.
This is incredible timing. Is it not? Jerry is one of the best. His show was top-5 of all-time. All of this isn't just a coincidence!
In case you're still here instead of there:
Lifelong New York Mets’ fan Jerry Seinfeld will call three innings of the Mets-Detroit Tigers game tonight on SNY alongside a person who made one of the most memorable cameos ever on his eponymous NBC comedy.
Keith Hernandez, the former Met who now does color on the Mets’ TV broadcasts, appeared in the 1992 “Seinfeld” episode “The Boyfriend.”
No word if Hernandez will have any “magic loogie” with him, or the whereabouts of second-spitter.
~See~
And then I come upon this - OMG
"Seinfeld, Hernandez to team up in booth" 6/22/2010 - 8:52 CT
It will be Seinfeld's first visit to the SNY booth and the first time he and Hernandez discuss the episode in the 18 years since it was filmed. The two have been friendly ever since meeting on the set, at which point Hernandez was the comedian's favorite player. During his radio appearance with Somers, Seinfeld said he wasn't sure if he'd be doing more play-by-play or analysis during his time in the booth. He wasn't intimidated by either.
Joked Seinfeld: "How hard is it to say, 'There's a hit'?"
Lady Gaga will be at Madison Square Garden again on July 6th!
And 7th... And 8th...
And soon after, Jerry Seinfeld was asked about it.
This is what transpired.
~~Commercial~~
Source
But only then did I realize that this was already happening. "Seinfeld reunites with Hernandez on air tonight". So yeah, check that out.
This is incredible timing. Is it not? Jerry is one of the best. His show was top-5 of all-time. All of this isn't just a coincidence!
In case you're still here instead of there:
Lifelong New York Mets’ fan Jerry Seinfeld will call three innings of the Mets-Detroit Tigers game tonight on SNY alongside a person who made one of the most memorable cameos ever on his eponymous NBC comedy.
Keith Hernandez, the former Met who now does color on the Mets’ TV broadcasts, appeared in the 1992 “Seinfeld” episode “The Boyfriend.”
No word if Hernandez will have any “magic loogie” with him, or the whereabouts of second-spitter.
~See~
And then I come upon this - OMG
"Seinfeld, Hernandez to team up in booth" 6/22/2010 - 8:52 CT
It will be Seinfeld's first visit to the SNY booth and the first time he and Hernandez discuss the episode in the 18 years since it was filmed. The two have been friendly ever since meeting on the set, at which point Hernandez was the comedian's favorite player. During his radio appearance with Somers, Seinfeld said he wasn't sure if he'd be doing more play-by-play or analysis during his time in the booth. He wasn't intimidated by either.
Joked Seinfeld: "How hard is it to say, 'There's a hit'?"
Lady Gaga will be at Madison Square Garden again on July 6th!
And 7th... And 8th...
45 Incredible Futuristic Scifi 3D City Illustrations
A few weeks ago I posted an incredible picture of what the world might look like in the year 3000, along with a link to more of Radoxist's cool creations. Today over at The Presurfer, Gerard posted a link to another 40+ incredible images just like this one. "Worth enough?" by Radoxist, the aforementioned image, is one of the collection.
Some are a little futuristic for me, and some really make sense, but they're all very well done.
My favorite one, the banner image ("Skyport" by James Paick) is one of them ...and here are a few more:
(Click images to enlarge for detail!)
City T25 by Grimdar
Mass Effect 2 Citadel by droot1986
Metroplex-Harbour District by Christian Beyer
The detail is pretty awesome in some of these!
Now, let's go see the other 41!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
"My Bad" - Manute Bol?
Here's one of the many articles I've seen recently about this topic. (Via) It's about time I type what I've been thinking ever since I first heard this piece of nonsense, following the death of former NBA player Manute Bol. No doubt many, many of you who are athletic and between the ages of oh.. 37 and 43 can probably vouch for what I'm about to say.
I'm gonna call BS on this. While I realize that a lot of the media may have been trying to credit someone "famous" for this little saying, I know for a fact that we were saying this to each other on the basketball court, the baseball field, and everywhere 7'7" Manute Bol - Source
else -- in the weight room, when we tossed a can of skoal out of our buddy's reach, or when guys were gonna get mad because we farted at the wrong time -- back in the late 80's. Heck we may have been saying it as early-on as middle school sports, which would be 1983-1985 for me.
I mean yeah I'm sorry the guy lost his life at a young age, but damn, there's no way he coined that phrase, and was the sole reason it became commonplace ..likely all across the nation.
The 110th U.S. Open at Pebble Beach
Source
Hey, it's pretty simple. The golf course won. Guys had their chances early during the back-9. As soon as 54-hole leader Dustin Johnson tripled the 2nd hole, doubled the 3rd, and bogeyed the 4th, his score of 6-under for the tourney was suddenly EVEN. Guys like Tiger, Phil, and Ernie Els were all breathing down his neck, but he obviously felt some pressure that didn't exist during his last two back-to-back victories at the AT&T Pebble Beach tourneys the last two Februaries.2010 US Open Champ, Graeme
McDowell with his father - Source
Graeme McDowell stayed solid, and the "big guns" only shot blanks for the most part. McDowell was able to win the tournament with a final-round 3-over par 74. How can this be?
Well like I said, the golf course won. I enjoyed the tournament, and the final round could've been better had some of these guys made a serious run. However, no one in the last half-dozen pairings shot anything lower than 71. Sure Matt Kuchar and Ben Curtis shot final-round 68's, but they were well behind beforehand.
After all was said and done, Phil and Ernie carded 73's, and Tiger shot 75, but apparently the viewers didn't like this. I don't really understand why, but I did happen to run across this poll at ESPN dot com. So I voted, and then took a screenshot of the results -- in preparation for this post.
Take a look at the poll:
Click to enlarge..
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Dream Theater & Iron Maiden - San Antonio, 6/12/2010
Here are some of the best pictures I got from the incredible concert last Saturday night. I went in with expectations too high for DT's (my favorite band) performance. Not that it wasn't good, but it was only 40 minutes long. And if you know anything about Dream Theater, you realize how short that seems for them - it was only 6 songs. They started playing "Pull Me Under" at about 8:10, and I was like, "why are they playing this?" and that became, "why are they playing it NOW?" The answers were obvious in about 8 minutes.
So I stewed for the entire time in between bands - wondering if it was warranted to have paid this much for my $28 ticket (Ticketmaster piles on the charges to a sum of $49, then there was $15 for parking, and the $6.25 16-oz. beer I bought after finding my seat -- That's over $70 for a 40-minute DT show.. you get where I'm going with this.) As always, they were amazing! I've seen them 6 times now. See, I keep track of all this stuff, and my notes said I've seen Iron Maiden twice before. The first one is crystal clear, since that was my 2nd-ever concert back in 1989. (Yeah - that's 21 years ago!) The second one had to be within a few years afterward. Nevertheless, it's been a long, long time. And you know what? These guys can still nail it after all this time!
It only took me about 30 seconds into the Maiden show to realize to make this "worth it" I've gotta get the most out of the rest of it. And that I did!! I was thoroughly impressed that I enjoyed Maiden's 2-hour set, especially since they stuck to their guns and played mostly newer stuff with which I wasn't very familiar. Yet it was still as if I were, you know?
Anyway, here is a selection of the very best of the 119 (doh!) pictures I took:
The Steve Harris pic is meaningful because my friends and I shook his hand back in 1989. Short little guy with thick, stubby fingers. Bad-ass bassist! Nicko was obviously an idol growing up as I played more Maiden than probably anything besides Rush. Hence the love of Dream Theater and Mike Portnoy.
Here were the set lists:
Dream Theater
1. As I Am
2. A Rite Of Passage
3. Home
4. Constant Motion
5. Panic Attack
6. Pull Me Under
Iron Maiden
1. The Wicker Man
2. Ghost Of The Navigator
3. Wrathchild
4. El Dorado
5. Paschendale
6. The Reincarnation Of Benjamin Breeg
7. These Colours Don't Run
8. Blood Brothers
9. Wildest Dreams
10. No More Lies
11. Brave New World
12. Fear Of The Dark
13. Iron Maiden
~Encore~
14. The Number of the Beast
15. Hallowed Be Thy Name
16. Running Free
Here's what I missed. YES, I left at the end of "13. IronMaiden" - I knew I'd miss "Number of the Beast", but not sure what else. And when I found out that they did "Hallowed..", I was upset I left. Because yeah along with the recent live performance of Running Free as I'm now preparing a solid live threesome, I don't know what the hell else I'm doing. Oddly, it was this clip of their version of "Phantom of The Opera" that even led me to finalize this post with this set of video clips. Remember, this is what I missed.
~Encore~
The Number of the Beast
Hallowed Be Thy Name
Running Free
Well then obviously, I had to go find the live version of "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" which leads to the climax of this post.
Peace!
Happy Father's Day, Dad!
...and all the dad's out there.
Here's a pic of my Dad and I today after a nice dinner at my sister's. My wife and I gave him a huge bag of all kinds of different chocolates, and we were also able to watch the U.S. Open finish up together. Fun day!
Here's a pic of my Dad and I today after a nice dinner at my sister's. My wife and I gave him a huge bag of all kinds of different chocolates, and we were also able to watch the U.S. Open finish up together. Fun day!
