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Saturday, May 8, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Toilet Graveyard
ViaWouldn't it be hilarious if there were a naked fat guy in the background sitting on one doing his business, and reading a newspaper?
12 Comic Actors’ Stand-Up From Way Back When
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Before they got their big breaks in various movies and TV shows, many of today’s best comedy actors were just regular guys doing the stand-up circuit, trying to get noticed like everyone else.
I’ve searched around the internet to find some early stand-up performances from some of today’s most successful comic actors before they hit it big. Some are funny back then, some definitely needed some time to evolve.
Check the performances out below:
Jerry Seinfeld
Jim Carrey on Johnny Carson
Dave Chappelle
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Thursday, May 6, 2010
Such Is Our Society
All the plastic surgeries.. All the touchups.. Red spots.. tiny veins.. stupid stuff.. This is what we have come to.
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Frustrated By Slow Play
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A doctor, A minister, and an engineer were playing golf one day.
They were frustrated by the slow play of the foursome ahead of them. They couldn't seem to hit the ball any where, they drove their cart into a tree, they stumbled around, lost balls and left them laying behind in obvious locations.
They called over a course warden and asked if there was anything he would do to speed up their play. The warden apologized and then explained that this was a group of blind firefighters. They all lost their sight putting out a fire in the clubhouse the year before. Since then the golf course let them play whenever they wanted and didn't hastle them.
The three friends thought about it and expressed appreciation for the golf courses compassion.
The doctor said, "I have a couple friends that are world-class eye surgeons. I will ask them if there is anything they could do to help."
The preacher said, "I will have my whole congregation pray that God will send a miracle to help those poor firefighters."
The engineer was quiet for a few minutes and then asked "Why can't they just play at night?"
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Wednesday, May 5, 2010
10 Unwritten Baseball Rules You May Not Know
Last month, when A's pitcher Dallas Braden called out Alex Rodriguez for cutting across the Oakland Coliseum mound, the country was informed of a small slice of baseball's Code that had lain mostly dormant in recent memory.
It was only one of a litany of unwritten rules that covers major leaguers' actions, designed essentially to preserve a baseline level of respect between competitors. They constitute the moral fabric of the game.
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The best known of these rules tells players not to steal a base when their team holds a big lead in the late innings of a game. Others include barring overt displays of exuberance in all but the most extreme circumstances; the hitter who watches his own home runs is the most egregious of violators in this category.
Many fans have heard of these rules (Alex Rodriguez himself was unaware of one). Some sections of the Code, however, fly under the radar (even for baseball insiders, to judge by the number of people within the game who had never heard the rule about restraint from crossing the pitcher's mound).Image Source
So, without further delay, here are 10 of baseball's more obscure unwritten rules:
1. Don't swing at the first pitch after back-to-back home runs
This is a matter of courtesy, respect for a pitcher who is clearly struggling, offering just a sliver of daylight with which to regain his senses. When Yankees rookie Chase Wright gave up back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers against Boston in 2007, the guys who hit numbers three and four — Mike Lowell and Jason Varitek — each watched a pitch before taking a cut.
"Let him know, okay, I'm not swinging," said Hal McRae. "I know you're out there trying to do a job, and I have to do a job — but you've just given up back-to-back home runs. So I take the first pitch."
2. Don't work the count when your team is up or down by a lot
This is true for both pitchers and hitters. Nobody wants to see the fifth guy on a bullpen's depth chart nibbling on the corners in the late innings of a blowout. Similarly, hitters are expected to swing at anything close. It's an effort to quickly and efficiently end a lopsided contest.
3. When hit by a pitch, don't rub the mark
This one is all about intimidation or lack thereof. It's a hitter's way of telling the pitcher that his best shot — intentional or otherwise —didn't hurt. Pete Rose made a point of sprinting to first base after being hit, to ensure that he stripped all satisfaction from the pitcher.
"It's a macho thing, like a fighter who gets clocked in the mouth and shakes his head like it didn't hurt him," said Rich Donnelly. "But believe me, it hurts."
Lou Brock was the only hitter Sandy Koufax ever threw at intentionally, and despite the fact that his shoulder was fractured by the pitch, forcing him from the game, never once did he rub the spot. The Washington Post once reported that Don Baylor "was hit by 267 pitches yet never rubbed, even once. Of course, several of the balls had to be hospitalized."
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Tuesday, May 4, 2010
10 Finkers
Ole vas vorking at da fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten finkers.
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, “Okie dokie, et’s have da finkers and I’ll see vhat I can do.”
Ole said, “I haven’t got da finkers.”
“Vhat do you mean, you hafen’t got da finkers?” he said. “Lordy - it’s 2010 and Ive’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible surgery techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy didn’t you brink da finkers?”
Ole says………”How da fock vas I suppose to pick dem up?”
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Monday, May 3, 2010
Images Of The Recent Gulf Oil Spill
As they always do, The Big Picture at Boston Dot Com has provided us with a super array of pictures from the recent oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico south of Louisiana. Click the pics to enlarge, and please follow the link at the end to see the rest.
Continue to the rest of the pictures.. Images Source
I'm still wondering if Padre Island here off the Texas coast will be affected, and if so, how soon? We had tentative plans to go next weekend.
Continue to the rest of the pictures.. Images Source
I'm still wondering if Padre Island here off the Texas coast will be affected, and if so, how soon? We had tentative plans to go next weekend.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Introducing: The Fork Fan
What a novel idea! Would have to be a crazy-expensive battery though. I know we just got the Worx GT trimmer, and it includes two pretty good Lithium batteries. The two batteries have gotta be a lot of the cost of that thing at $130.
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40 Uses For Floppy Disks
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Floppy disks: headed for the museum, or treasured home for your data? When Sony said this week it was halting the production of floppy disks, the Magazine set out to discover who still buys and uses this anachronistic computer storage medium.
More than 1,000 readers e-mailed in response to the Magazine's request to explain their attachment to the once universally popular 3.5" diskettes. Many pointed out floppies are needed to access even newer computers' deepest innards - their Bios. (A surprising number also enjoyed pointing out the South African term for floppies - stiffies - though let's not dwell too long on that.)
Here are 40 explanations for why floppy disks are still needed:
1. I regularly buy floppy disks. I own a pub with a retro theme and I use them as beer mats.
Shaun Garrod, Ashby de la Soul
2. I am an artist from London and I use floppy disks to produce my paintings. I tile them up as canvases. The personal information on each disk is forever locked under the paint, but the labels are left as a clue. I use the circular hubs on the reverse for eyes!
Nick Gentry, London
3. In the aviation industry they are still used to update firmware on ticket printers.
Dre, Germany
4. Not as much a user as an owner of a great many floppies, I was planning to tile the roof of my shed with them (using the two existing corner holes to take the nails) until my wife forbade it.
Erik Ga Bean, Stevenage, England
5. I work for a national high-street based business. We still use floppies in many sites for back-ups. Believe it or not we are still running MS-DOS on most of our till systems. We get through hundreds if not into the thousands each year.
Matt Sparks, Birmingham
6. Have you seen the cost of clays for skeet shooting? Pull!
Paul Taylor, St.Helens England
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